Last Goodbyes
by shan14
Summary: Chefo's wedding and The Hammersley's decomissioning brings to the surface the emotion of the past 6 months
1. Chapter 1

**Nother Sea Patrol fic :P I swear by the end of my posts today we're going to have a Sea Patrol category**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything in this one...Lyrics in second chapter belong to The Whitlams**

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"Kate" murmured Mike softly, crossing the balloon covered dance floor to where she stood silently. Her blonde locks, curls for the occasion, framed her pale, rose tinged cheeks as she swayed slowly to the music playing quietly in the distance.

One arm lay wrapped around her stomach, tugging slightly at the soft beige fabric of her dress as the cool night air penetrated the temporary marquee, blowing at the balloons on the floor and the skirt of her dress gently. She turned towards his voice, shivering violently at the determined air he was carrying as his step quickened, mistaking her tremble as being from the growing cold. A dream like stance took hold of her as his handsome face came into detail and her heart beat quickened, the steady pounding against her chest ringing in her ears, drowning out the rest of the world. She felt the blush rise up through her cheeks as he stopped in front of her, vibrant brown eyes piercing through the haze of emotion chocking her mind and her ability to form a coherent thought.

She managed a weak smile in return as her cheeks blazed warmer in anticipation. She knew immediately something was bothering him, the sixth sense developed years ago lingered at the back of her mind and was sending of alarm bells, almost drowning out the thump of her heart beat racing against her chest.

Mike drew in a deep breath as she stared at him, expectant and alert to what was happening. He rang his hands nervously, rasing one to wipe his forehead on instinct. She was looking more flushed than usual, her red cheeks glowing brightly against the blonde ringlet's framing her face. He liked her hair like this, free for him to run his hand through its soft wave's as he held her close.

His mind drifted back to earlier that evening, their dance, a soft swaying number that he'd been waiting for and dreading all day. His whole self had tingled at the feeling of having her in his arms; the first time in five years. She still felt the same as she had back then, still fitted to his side perfectly; the missing piece of the puzzle that neither could deny. The music was so gentle and the atmosphere had been so soft so that they had found themselves lost in a trance. Sometime's they had gazed at each other till one had looked away embarrassedly, other times one would whisper something to the other and they'd smile knowingly. Neither had noticed the looks they were getting from other people; friends, acquaintances and strangers who could all feel the tension of their slow dance. Both where to enchanted by the lover they held in their arms to notice anything much at all, except the physical pain at letting the other go as the music came to a slow halt.

"You look cold" noticed Mike, staring intently at the shivering form of his partner stood before him. He drew in a deep breath to settle himself, praying his mind would keep him together till he had spoken.

She looked quickly up at him, startled green eyes meeting compassionate brown ones as she nodded slowly in response.

"Yes" she smiled, sighing "Yes, I suppose I am"

Both grinned nervously at the other, a silent acknowledgement of understanding electrified between the two as Mike removed the suit jacket from his shoulders. He wrapped it around Kate's slim figure, letting his hand linger by her waist a moment longer, brushing the cool skin with his rough thumb. She drew a quick, ragged breath in against his cheek, holding it unconsciously as she focused on where his course skin met her own. His gentle touch warmed her quickly, electrifying the connection between the two before she exhaled, pulling back slowly to look at his boyish face.

"Mike" she whispered gently, her hunny tinged voice prying into his thoughts lazily as he opened his eyes once more.

"Did you want something?" she asked, taking a small step backwards as a sudden wave of shyness over came her. He couldn't help but smile at the innocent look of terror that had suddenly become her face, and he wondered briefly if that was how he looked as well, standing slightly bent over before her. He forced himself to speak the words that had been lingering at the back of his mind all weekend; throughout the morning, during the wedding, afterward's at the reception and especially during their dance.

"I've been wondering something, ever since we came a shore" was all he managed before fear choked him into silence.

She hummed softly in acknowledgement, willing him to continue so she wouldn't get lost in his gaze once more. He drew in another deep breath, ringing his hands by his side as he concentrated on her eyes fluttering closed sleepily. "Kay" he murmured

"Will you be staying on the new patrol boat now that the Hammersley's been decommissioned?"

He swallowed all the nerves he had been feeling before asking the question, in anticipation of her answer to the thoughts that had plagued his mind for the last few weeks. He watched her eye lid's open slowly, surprise evident in her steady gaze that matched his own nervous one. 'She doesn't want to' he thought suddenly, his stomach lurching violently at the force of the words.

"You've been such an asset to the team over the last six month's. I know the crew were a bit disrespectful at first but everyone's grown to know you, and you've got to admit we're quite a good unit with me in command and you in second"

He found himself rambling incoherently, words leaving his mouth at maximum speed to try and blank out the dreadful thoughts penetrating his mind.  
"Mike" she called, laying a hand against his arm to stop his nervous rant and allow her a chance to speak. "Have you been worrying about this for a while?" she asked, her cheeks burning with red once more so that she was sure he must have noticed how effected she was by him.

"A bit" he muttered, grinning in embarrassment at being caught with her on his mind. He couldn't help but wonder if she knew that she'd been on his mind for the better part of the last few months. Ever since the Bright Island mystery had been cleared he'd struggled to tear his thought's away from her, actually before that, when she had dropped everything to come save him from the fire had been when he first realised she might feel some of what he was feeling. Her strong voice broke through his thoughts once more, pulling him towards her presence and the answer to his question. His heart sank deeply and his stomach gave out as he noted the sorrowful look in her eyes. His heart beat was pounding so loudly in his ears that he had to strain to hear her.

"I'm sorry Mike" she sighed, casting her eyes downwards to avoid his gaze.

"You're not coming back. Are you" he murmured, closing his eyes briefly so she wouldn't see the pain seeping through his dark pools of brown. They were standing close now, so close he could feel her soft breath as she sighed slowly, watching his face with longing and a pain of her own.

"Mike" she began but his voice interrupted her, defeated tone ringing clearly in her ears and ripping at her heart. He looked so desperate that she wished she could stay with him forever, just to see his smile once more.

"You don't have to explain" he said, brown locks of hair falling way ward as he shook his head. She watched as he pulled himself together, eyes becoming clearer to look at her, small smile breaking through his handsome features. He was looking at her with such emotion, such compassion and dare she say love that all she could think about was taking back her words. She already done this to him once; caused him too much pain to bear and yet here she found herself doing it again and they hadn't even acknowledged it. She knew she had to do this, that it was for the best and would turn out alright. They couldn't keep dancing around each other on board. One day some one was going to slip up and that could mean the end of both their careers. She was adamant that would not happen, and so she was doing what she felt obligated to do; yet something in his eyes was ripping at the threads of her heart making it physically painful to even contemplate hurting him again.

She felt herself explaining the situation, making excuses for tearing them apart once more.

"Mike, where I want to go in life, I can't be on the Patrol Boat if I want it to happen" her hands feel by her side dejectedly, realising that no amount of explanation was going to make either of them feel better. The night air had set in around them unnoticed; the dim lantern's surrounding the wooden floor creating a gentle glow while casting shadow's across the tarpaulin and each other's faces. Mike leaned in closer towards Kate, staring at her pale face, glowing cheeks and vibrant eyes for what could be the last time. He'd never felt the urge to cry, not since he was a young boy, but something was tugging at his aching heart and all he wanted to do was cry out, yell at it to stop, rewind, back to another day when Kate was by his side and he hadn't needed to think about her ever leaving him again.

Despite the shadows out lining his face Kate could see the anguish she was causing. A wave of guilt washed over her and suddenly she knew she had to leave, get away from him while she could. Mike noticed the shift in atmosphere signalling the end, and he felt sick.

"So I guess this is goodbye" he whispered. His voice sounded a million miles away, like someone else being carried by the wind to where he stood, slightly hunched and shivering through the cool.

"Yes" murmured Kate in agreement. She didn't dare turn towards his eyes once more; fearing what would happen if their eyes locked once more.

"Last goodbye" she added in, so softly that he could hardly hear over the thumping of his heart and whistle of the wind.

A storm was coming.

He blinked, the harsh words cutting at his ears and mind as he realised this was the end.

Kate willed herself to look at him once more, drinking in his dark features before turning swiftly on her heels and walking away. Her legs brushed against the balloons that lay forgotten on the dance floor. Some blew gently with the wind while others where knocked out her path as she stepped rigidly through them, not daring to slow her pace.

The wind blew at her dress purposely as she stepped outside, into the dark that blanketed the world around her. She drew in a deep breath, holding the tears in a moment longer before exhaling, letting the stream pour down her face dramatically. As she wrapped her arms around her figure to ward of the cold she realised she was still wearing his dark suit jacket. She pulled it up to her face, inhaling his scent, before letting it fall loosely around her once more. The first drop's of water plummeted to the ground around her, homing in on planet earth while her thoughts drifted up towards the heavens, a million miles away from her body in a place she longed to be. She turned her head towards the sky, welcoming the down pour onto her tear stained cheeks and damp curls. His jacket was still warm against her skin, keeping her dry while her surrounding's where drowned in water, washing away the dirt and grim of the past week to bring about a new day.

As she stood swaying in the rain she couldn't help but smile. Tomorrow would be a new bright day, and she was to be a part of it.


	2. Chapter 2

Mike sat dejectedly in his apartment thinking over Kate's words to him earlier. His tie lay loosely around his neck and his sleeves were rolled to his elbow's. The shirt he was wearing stuck to his skin in places, damp from his trudge home through the pouring rain earlier. He'd given up on owning a car years ago, figuring he spent more time at sea and could get to the places he needed by walking anyway. When life called him out further he could always catch a bus and on rare occasion's when none where available he always had a friend willing to let him borrow their car. Part of him was glad he'd walked through the rain earlier that evening, the down pour matching his mood and defeated stature. It had muddled his thoughts some what, pulling them away from the conversation on replay in his mind and the conclusion he had reached each time. Kate was gone, and she wasn't coming back. 'Not like last time' he thought grimly, rasing the beer in his hands up towards his mouth.

The rain continued to patter against his window, sending strange shadow's across his living room floor while The Whitlam's played softly in the background. He'd always enjoyed his music, preferring it to the television or books. As a young boy he'd learnt the piano and as he grew older his father taught him the guitar. Something about music itself calmed him when the world was too much. Not the voices but the instruments, always perfectly tuned together to produce the most beautiful hum. Nothing in his opinion would ever come near the profound effect music could have on him, and he'd never bothered to try and find a competitor.

The dying sounds of the music filtered through his dark apartment, the flash of lightning illuminating the room every so often to make shadow's while he listened to the crack of the thunder. He and his brother used to have competitions to guess what song was coming up next on the radio. Both would lie silently in wait, listening for the opening few bar's of music to tell them what each one was and who ever called it first was pronounced the winner, at least until the song finished and another begun. He found himself listening silently now; 25 years later and all alone in the rain and he was playing games he hadn't thought about since he was 12.

'You need a life mate' he told himself, chuckling at the absurdity of the words. He'd come close to a life, 5 years ago in fact, and he'd tried to latch onto some of it earlier that evening only to have it torn away from him by the life giver herself. He was sick with having a life, sick with trying so hard. The sea was his first and foremost love and it seemed it would remain that way till his dying day.

"You've got to be kidding me" he murmured, chuckling with sorrow at the opening bars of music playing through the silence. He grabbed at the remote lying idly beside him while trying to stop the sound of The Whitlam's filling his senses.

_Close you__r eyes Kate_

_I'll sing you to sleep_

_Close your eyes _

_Your dreams will be sweet_

"Shut up!" he all but yelled, shocking himself as the room plunged into complete silence, the remote lying dejectedly where he had thrown it. He raised his beer once more, savouring the bitter taste as it slid down his throat into his churning stomach, helping him forget the pain of the past. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, willing them to fall closed so he could escape into his dreams for a few hours before a new day began.

He felt so alone, so isolated from everything and everyone around him. He vaguely remembered feeling similar the first time she had left but nothing could have prepared him for it happening again.

"She's not coming back" called a voice at the back of his head, the same one that had been their five years ago telling him to run. He wished he had a remote to turn this one off as well, sending it deep into the silence along with the blasted Whitlam's.

"Your pathetic" it continued, obviously ignoring the threats he was sending it in order to continue its sing song of laughter.

A loud clap of thunder shook the small apartment he called home, shaking him with it and causing him to glance quickly towards the open blinds. Rain still assaulted the window and the dying glow of the street lamps struggled to be seen thought the grey of the stormy night. Everything stood ghostly silent around him, save the occasional thunder or rumble of a car down the street. It was approaching 1 am and his eyes where finally growing weary, fluttering closed before he pried them open once more. In the end he gave up the fight, greatly relieved to be tired enough to fall into an oblivious sleep. His arm's fell down by his side, pulling the half empty beer bottle he still had with him. He loosened his tie even more to avoid any questions if someone walked in on him during the night; though who would be walking in on him at this time of night escaped his mind.

As his eyed drifted closed he thought he heard a soft knock on the door, though putting it down to exhaustion he chose to ignore it. Moments later the knocking resumed, louder this time and with purpose. He shook himself into a state of mild consciousness before hauling himself up and stumbling towards the front door.

'Who on earth is awake at this time?' he wondered wearily, vowing to send them into silence along with the laughing voice and the blasted Whitlam's if it wasn't an emergency. He cracked his eyes open a little more to take in the soaking form of his partner stood before him. He sucked in a deep breathe, holding it in surprise as he took in her straggling appearance. Her light curls lay damp around her shoulders, weighing her down almost and making her look much older than she was. Her cheeks were no longer flushed red; instead her eyes where from crying while the rest of her face stood frighteningly pale. She was still wearing his suit jacket he noted with a smile, the grey even darker from the rain she had walked through to reach his apartment so late at night. Her dress was soaked through, clinging transparent to her slim form beneath the jacket. Her shoes where off he noted with surprise, instead she held them firmly in her right hand while her left lay across her stomach, much like it had earlier.

Kate watched him with the same mixture of surprise and elation. He looked even worse than she felt, an observation that nudged at her heart painfully. His white shirt stuck to his chest, still damp from his walk in the rain and his tie hung loose around his neck. His dark hair laid a top his head at odd angles; much like it did in the morning she fleetingly recalled. His face was drained of all and any emotion save his eyes. The chocolate pools of brown stared widely in surprise at her waiting for her to speak the first words unlike earlier that evening.

"Were you asleep?" she asked suddenly, realising that any normal human being would be at 1 in the morning. If possible his eyes widened even further so that he looked amusingly like a deer caught in the head lights of a car speeding straight towards him with force.

Unable to form a full sentence yet he opted for shaking his head, his hair flying wildly with the motion before falling against his forehead once more.

The pair continued starring at each other for a good few minutes longer, both realising what was happening but neither ready or willing to approach the subject. Sucking in a deep breath Mike decided upon making the first move, instructing his clamped mouth to open and speak. After a few failed attempts he managed to crackle out a question, shocking both himself and the woman in front of him.

"What happened to our 'last goodbye'?" he asked suddenly and she smiled the first real smile he'd seen since earlier that evening. He found himself smiling along with her despite having no reason for it. 15 minutes ago he had been drowning his sorrows in beer, rain and music; now he was smiling like he'd lost his mind with the cause of it all.

Kate felt a physical weight lift from her shoulders as he smiled along with her, sharing some of the pressure they could both feel pushing down around them.

"I thought you said with the way you wanted your life to go you couldn't be on patrol boats?" he continued, noticing her lack of communication beyond a smile. She opened her mouth to answer, grasping for the words to explain the thought's that had been running through her head all afternoon.

"I can't" she agreed, her voice a whisper above the wind whirling above them. For the second time that evening Mike felt the weight of the world press down around him, squashing his heart into tiny pieces before it was shattered. He looked questioningly at her, wondering why she was here if nothing had changed.

"Can I come in?" she asked suddenly, the sting of the storm freezing her already wet body. Mike stepped backwards quickly, silently inviting her in through the door.

"S'cuse the mess" he apologised hastily, brushing away stray books and item's of clothing to create somewhere for her to sit.

"Thanks" smiled Kate as he made room for her in his apartment. She looked briefly around the room, taking in what changes she could through the darkness though nothing much had changed much since she was last there. The television was a little bigger and the CD collection was much bigger while the book collection on the wooden shelves was looking dustier. He'd gotten a new brown lounge though the old wooden arm chair his father had given him still sat in one corner, the frayed cushioned seat falling apart slowly.

"You were saying" reminded Mike from behind her, shocking her through the silence blanketing the night. He sat awkwardly next to her on the lounge, turning his body to face her now cross legged form.

Once more she opened her mouth silently, thinking over her choice of explanation thoroughly.

"Mike" she began, looking straight at him so she wouldn't chicken out again. She shook her head angrily, annoyed with herself for not saying what she felt. Mike watched her expression of frustration in fascination, her beautiful features contorted in annoyance only to fall as she sighed in defeat. Before he could coherently react she was leaning in towards him, keeping her eyes steadily on his own as her small hand came to rest on his chest and her soft lip's pressed against his in a gentle kiss. He closed his eyes lazily as she rested her weight against his chest, letting him wrap his arm around her waist to tug her gently closer. He'd expected his mind to be racing with alarm bells if she ever kissed him again but surprisingly he felt wonderfully calm, tangled up against Kate once more as she smiled against his lips. When they broke apart for air he reached a hand up to brush a stray curl away, keeping the other wrapped around her waist so she wouldn't escape away from him. His mind may have blanked out for the better half of the last minute but one thought was sticking strong in his mind. He was never letting her go, not ever, even if it meant the end of his career. He may have been married to his job but his job wasn't returning the favour. He all but laughed as more Whitlam's lyrics floated through his mind lazily.

_It's not enough to be in love with you_

_I want to be loved to_

Maybe they did know what they where talking about he thought languidly.

"What are you smiling at" asked Kate gently, pushing herself up against his chest to get a better look at the smile he couldn't seem to get rid of.

"Nothing" hummed Mike, content to watch Kate's smile so close to his own before closing his eyes to kiss her softly once more.

"Now do you get why I couldn't be working on the new Patrol Boat" she whispered moments later, pulling away from him. She couldn't help but smile as his face lit up in realisation. He felt the world lift from him once again, back to its rightful place as her words from this evening fitted together, the missing piece of the puzzle.

"We can't work together, if we are together" he muttered slowly, wishing he'd come to that conclusion earlier to save the pain of the evening.

"I'm sorry about before" apologised Kate, seemingly mirroring his thoughts as she ran her hand slowly through his mangled locks of brown. Mike snorted playfully, enticing a grin from the woman tangled with him on the lounge.

"You could have just told me" he complained lightly, tapping her nose with his finger as she rolled her eyes.

"Theatrical effect" she replied by means of explanation, waving her hand around dramatically before resting it against him once more. Mike narrowed his eyes in amusement, before sighing happily, shifting himself onto his back so that Kate lay against his chest in front of him. The little voice at the back of his mind, still condemned to silence, sang out squashing his new found happiness momentarily.

"What's wrong?" asked Kate, noting the distressed look Mike had adapted for a minute.

"Why did you say that would be our last good bye then?" he asked, voice barely above a whisper in anticipation. Kate sighed in relief, deeply glad that he hadn't any more doubts than that one small sentence that had been on both their minds since she had left.

"You know, after I left I went down to the pier" she found herself explaining, a smile playing at her lips as he looked up in alarm.

"You went to the pier, alone, in the storm?" he asked incredulously, wondering if she'd lost her mind at the wedding at that was why she was here.

"Yes Mike" she replied dryly, secretly enjoying being able to call him that once more while being wrapped up against him "I am a big girl"

He grumbled playfully in return, still concerned at what could have happened to her if the storm had been any greater. No wonder she looked drowned when she'd stepped onto his doorstep.

"I began thinking about what I'd said to you. Something about it didn't seem right, not the words them self, but the meaning. After a while I realised that what I had told you was the truth it was just the reasoning behind them that I'd gotten wrong" she explained slowly. She smiled shyly at him, hoping to entice a grin in return before lying against his chest tiredly. She could already feel the exhaustion of the day setting in quickly, and she needed to finish her explanation before she fell asleep.

"When I said this was our last goodbye, I didn't mean we'd never see each other again" she finally whispered, squirming slightly to find a better position in his arms. Mike took this as a sign her talking would soon be over and listened intently, heart beating in anticipation of what would eventuate afterwards. She yawned softly, pulling her hand up to smother it before continuing on, her voice dipping in exhaustion.

"It was our last goodbye" she begun, sighing deeply "Because I'm never leaving again. And if I never leave, I'll never have to say goodbye"

Despite the emotion of the last few moments and the over whelming joy blanketing him, Mike couldn't help but chuckle at Kate's explanation. Leave it to her to confuse him like that.

He tugged gently at her waist pulling her up closer to his chest as she closed her eyes languidly. A matching smile played across both their lips, as Kate's breathing evened out and she was claimed by sleep. Mike watched her quietly, still not believing that she was here. He felt far off, in a dream somewhere and for once he was quite content to stay right there. Nothing, no one, not even an emergency could persuade him to move from where he laid, one arm stretched above his head while the other held Kate close.

'How are we going to tell the other's' he wondered briefly before pushing those thought's aside. Almost comically lyric's floated through his mind and he wondered if Tim had been thinking of him as he wrote. He watched the silent form of his blonde haired partner sigh deeply in her sleep, smile gracing her features as his own wormed its way onto his face.

_Tell everybody_

_The Light's are back on_


End file.
